Today thanks to my partner & one of my daughters’ workers i have managed to get out to the henna decoration course i had booked on.Despite being exhausted & having calls during the course i have managed to get out & do something.tomorrow i hope to be more awake,less frazzled & able to allow my creativity to come out to play.
I have yet to knit …simply haven’t had a moment yet.I want a nice bright yarn so will have a look in the yarn drawer.
I really feel the need for a true break from caring ………… a break where i don’t have to think about/organize anything to do with providing care/attend any meetings/cope with doing it all myself with no support during weekends & bank holidays.A real break…not just a day out to do something.whilst thinking at the back of my mind about what is going on in my absence or being called away from whatever i’m doing to hurry to my daughter…not knowing if i will be in time to prevent harm or my most scary nightmare that she will have committed suicide before i arrive.
The services don’t offer any support for the carer….this situation is not acceptable to me or to any other carers.I hope to effect some small changes for the better via my role on the NELFT Carers Reference Group.
My partner has been supportive & enabled me to attend my course.For that i’m grateful.I suppose at the moment i’m suffering from carer burnout & i need more.In fact i need to be able to have a bit of my own life ..i’m tired of being frazzled & not able to just have a moment to myself & to be creative & not exhausted.I want to be seen, i want to be me & not viewed as an automaton that keeps on providing.I want to be recognised as me.
I would also like the government to pay me the wage that i’m saving them by providing care In fact the carers U.K care calculator shows……………
Your care is worth £91,980.00 a year.
Does this surprise you? Your care is part of a massive £119 billion that carers contribute across the UK.
At Carers UK we don’t feel carers get a decent return on the massive contribution they make to society. Carers deserve better.